Foof....

do you still check my blog?

oh baby!

You're 13 weeks old in this pic but as I write this post you are almost 16 weeks!  My, what crazy shit you've put me and your dad through! Well, your dad really! You've just made me bloated, fat, and irritable...really really irritable and your poor dad has to put up with it!  As a matter of fact, I have a hilarious mood swing story that you brought upon me to share.

A couple of weeks ago, your dad was taking a shower as I was putting on my make-up. It seemed as if he was really enjoying his shower since he was humming but this out of tune, non-stop noice was getting under my skin.  Actually, it was really pissing me off so i got up, walked into the bathroom, opened the shower door, and started yelling at him.  I kept asking him how old he was and why he was acting like my brother did when he was 10 years old and kept reminding him that he was having a baby but was acting like one.  Why i was saying that, I'm not exactly sure.  I mean all the poor guy did was hum!  But I proceeded to be neurotic as I yelled and slammed the shower door. By the way, the entire time i was going crazy your dad didn't say a word which made me feel bad once i sat down and continued to put my make-up on.  So as soon as he got out of the shower, I apologized.  He, being the sweet guy that he was said, "it's okay babe, it's not a big deal".  I then started balling my eyes out and said, "yes it is a big deal" and I kept crying (like a baby, literally) for a good 5 minutes.  Your poor dad was so confused.  I can't even explain exactly what went on in my mind/body to provoke such craziness...but it definitely has something to do with you!

Is it really true?

Am I actually going to finally graduate at 31?!!  I really can't believe I made it this far!  Never in a million years did I imagine myself going back to school.  But I did and my mom would have been so happy! 

I really don't know what I'm going to do with my spare time? Coming home from and not having to study scares me.  I mean really, what am I going to do?!  I guess I'll find out come Thursday! It's gonna take some time getting used to but I'm sure I wont miss school (although a part of me already does, isn't that weird?!) 

Anyway, here are a couple layouts i made a couple weeks ago...just  been too lazy to scan them. 

ho ho ho

it's crazy how life can change in a blink of an eye...and then it just leaves you.  just like that. gone...and you're left sad and lonely. lately, i'm just not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  is it even there?

this time (2nd time) around, the holidays absolutely suck! surprisingly, last year, just three weeks or so after my mom died, i couldn't wait to put up the tree and start decorating. i think i was just in shock and tried to make things as "normal" as possible because this year is a whole different story.  fuck the music. fuck the tree. fuck the gifts. fuck the snow.  and fuck all the happy people. oh and a big FUCK YOU to new years if brings me another round of a miserable shit.

 

But, with all that said, i will try to make the best out of this "jolly" season.  

p.s. i''m feeling really creative lately (but i've been to lazy to actually create anything)

a whole lot of nothing

i'm loving this quote farah sent me...just had to make a layout of it.  it felt so good to create something today...but i really need to start making layouts with pictures on them! But that calls for a new camera (just because i've had my eye on a certain one for a while) and someone to take pictures of since Adam refuses to do it. 

And since school and work engulf every damn aspect of my life, i really don't have much more to say....except that i should be graduating in 28 days!!!!!  holy shit...i can't believe i'm about to finally finish!!!

history

made this as i was watching obama put mccain to shame.  

wow, that was a huge victory!! can you imagine how Obama feels right now?! he holds the title as the first black president of the united states! now that's pretty damn gratifying!

WHY

i want to scream from the top of my lungs.

literally.  

i want to scream until I no longer have a voice. 

"WHY?!" 

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE HER?!"

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO US?"

"TO MY DAD?"

"WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT?!" 

i never really knew that my heart could ever ache this much.   

and it's pure agony.

Never again will my soul find true peace...until i see you again, mom.  never.